Helping Your Child Name Their Feelings
Co Created by Anirudh Garudangiri & Sonal Kothari
A feelings chart gives your child pictures they can point to when finding a feeling word is difficult. You can use Naru’s feelings stickers to begin a conversation, or simply make room for what your child wants to show you.
“How are you feeling?”
It sounds like such a small question. As a father, what I want to know is much larger: what is happening inside you, and how can I meet you there?
Sometimes, with Agastya, his feelings seemed to arrive all at once. Tears, anger, a sudden change of mood. I could see that something was happening. Finding words for it was harder.
That is the starting point for this Snowflake Tales resource: a familiar little wolf, a few feeling words, and an invitation to show us what is going on.
Meet Naru’s feelings stickers.
Click on the image to download the free printable resource.
The sheet contains 24 circular stickers: four each for happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise and disgust. Keep a whole sheet available to point to, or print it on sticker paper for a journal. An adult can help cut out a set for use as small cards.
The six pictures are a starting vocabulary. Leave room beside them for a drawing, another word, or “I don’t know yet”. A child does not have to fit their experience into one of the pictures.
Begin when there is room for a conversation.
Introduce the pictures in a quiet moment. If your child is overwhelmed, attend to safety and comfort first; come back to the activity when you can both engage. The CDC recommends waiting until parent and child are calm before emotion coaching.
Offer a small invitation
Try: “Does one of these look a little like how you feel?” They can point, choose a sticker, or leave it for another time. You could also begin with Naru: “What do you notice about his face?” Treat this as something to explore together.
Making space for their answer
Listen before explaining
Give your child your attention. Reflect what you heard in simple words, and ask before offering a hug. A child’s gesture or quiet presence can be part of the conversation too. These are ways of showing attention and connection described in the CDC’s communication guidance. [2]
For example, if your child tells you they are sad that playtime ended, you might say, “You wanted more time together.” Pause there. There can be space for their response before you explain what happens next.
Let your child correct you
If you offer a feeling word, make it a guess. “I wonder if you’re disappointed?” leaves room for a different answer. Children can also have more than one feeling at once. Accepting those feelings can sit alongside a clear limit on hurtful behaviour. [1]
Try it in a journal
One possible activity is to invite your child to choose a sticker for a moment from their day. Leave space beside it for a scribble, a picture, or words they ask you to write. Date the page if they would like to keep it.
You might choose a sticker of your own and share an ordinary moment: “I felt happy when we read together.” Keep your example small; the page can remain an invitation for them to share as much or as little as they wish.
Questions parents might have
What if my child chooses several stickers?
Leave room for more than one feeling. You can ask whether they would like to tell you about their choices, without requiring an explanation. [1]
What if my child does not want to use them?
Put the sheet aside. You can still listen, offer company and respect whether they want physical comfort. The conversation does not depend on the printable. [2]
Are these reward stickers?
Use this sheet for expressing feelings. Keep it separate from chore rewards: choosing happiness should not earn a prize, and choosing anger should not cost one.
Will naming the feeling stop the tears?
That is not a promise this resource makes. Its purpose is to offer a way to communicate. There is no requirement for the conversation to end with a happy sticker.
Some days, a child may have a whole story to tell. Other days, they may only point. We can leave space for both. The invitation stays the same: you can show me, and I will try to understand.
Further reading